Pax RP

You are suddenly struck with inspiration and write for weeks and weeks and weeks! But alas, it all ends up being Twilight!

I wish I could meet my bestest friends in person.

You are suddenly teleport to where your bestest friends are! Alas, they are in different locations, and you are torn asunder, as you're simultaneously teleported to multiple places!

I wish that everyone spoke in iambic pentameter!

They do, but because most people can't do it well, they end up saying gibberish most of the time.

I wish there was a file format for cellular automata that was easier to write in.

There is, Cellular Automata reverts to it's concept form from the 1940's. As a result, all breakthroughs on the subject and subsequent achievements or theories are destroyed. Good job.

I wish I had a super-awesome gaming computer with a huge monitor.

Granted, sadly it's a super awesome gaming computer from the 80's with a monitor that was huge for the time.

I wish I could have my own place to live right now.

Granted. Unfortunately it's a shack in the Arctic. You cannot survive without provisions and freeze to death.

I wish I had awesome magic powers.

Granted, however you can only make bunnies appear from most unspeakable places. But hey, bunnies!

I wish I hadn't hurt my ankle today.

Instead of hurting your ankle, you tripped down a set of stairs and broke both legs and an arm! But hey, your ankle is fine!

I wish I didn't have insomnia.

Your insomnia disappears - WHOOSH~ - but in it's place is hypersomnia! You now sleep 20/24 hours a day.

I wish for world domination.

You achieve world domination, by being transported to Mercury, population: you.

I wish I owned the next generation Xbox and ALL THE games.

Granted, sadly it's ridden with hardware problems (and you thought the red ring of death was bad!) and all the games is just one. About paint drying.

I wish Assassin's Creed 3's controls were less finicky.

The bewished controls are perfect, but because they spent so much time on them, the only missions available involve chasing down loose Almanac pages. Have fun with that!

I wish virtual reality technology was already available and awesome.

It is, but a mad scientist traps your mind inside the game. If you die, your VR headset will emit a microwave and fry your brain. Good lucking clearing the hardest game of all time without dying!

I wish I was the Avatar! =o

Granted, but now you have the fire nation all up in your grill.
(I assume that's the one you meant. I've also not seen a lot of it, are the fire nation still an issue? Oh dear. )

I wish my damned PC would stop having blue screen errors!

No more blue screens- Now it doesn't even turn on.

I wish my back didn't hurt so much. @_@