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2am, and I can't sleep

Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 1:43 am
by Borg12345
This was long overdue. My head is buzzing and I needed to explain my absence anyway so here we go!

I've had... well a whole bunch of stuff happen. Like, so much.

The main issue has been one with my father, and his relationship with someone who I thought I could consider one of my closest friends. I met a woman called Kate though one of the two LARP groups I used to attend a little over a year ago now, and during that time we had become very good friends. In fact I felt very strongly about her, I loved her. And she loved me back it was just... different. Which is fine. What was important was that she supported me through some very rough spots and gave the confidence I needed to take my life back and push myself to do what I want with it. For that I can never thank her enough.

Enter my father. This starts off with him discovering that he has probably been living with Fibromyalgia for most of his life. He has been an ill person for most of his life but things have been getting worse for him and dealing with this has been hard for everyone involved. He did however find support with Kate, who suffers from ME which is a very similar condition. I was very happy about dad finding support in someone who can begin to know where he's coming from. As I would discover though, it wouldn't end there.

It turned out that this relationship went a lot deeper that I was lead to believe by my father. Kate was very surprised with how well I took it because he'd lied to me about it, they were and still are seriously considering a relationship. Now, we shall ignore the fact that he knew very much how I felt about Kate and how I'm almost certain he took action steer that in what was probably an inevitable direction anyway. We shall also ignore that my father is perusing a relationship with someone who was my best friend and about 12 years his junior. And we shall ignore the fact that he lied to me about this in the first place.
What I'm angry about is that he is still with his CURRENT partner, and living with his three daughters. Kate told dad that she wouldn't consider perusing anything until he has finalised the situation at home, which has been collapsing for him for several years now. Rather than do this, he has decided to lie to everyone. When I discovered this, and confronted my father with it, he basically told me he doesn't care what anyone thinks. He has managed to get Kate to think this way and she has convinced herself, or at least is telling me, that she's doing nothing wrong in allowing what is an adulterous relationship to possibly occur because things are over with his current partner... when they very clearly aren't.

So I am no longer speaking to either of them. They are, as far as I'm concerned, completely dead to me. I have several people I can talk to about this, but not many as it would fall into the realm of petty revenge, and I'm better than that.

But it has resulted in me having to not attend either of my larp clubs any more. If nothing else, my dad was the one who introduced me to larp and whilst I intend to keep doing that, larping in MK with the two groups (one of which is pretty much gone now) is just too painful. Never mind the fact that there's no way I can fully avoid either dad or Kate, but even more than that it's the pure association. I used to go to them because they were some of the few times I really got to spend time with my dad and now... now I can't stand to look at him.

Whilst this has been going on, I have had an impromptu move. My mum and her husband were given a fantastic opportunity to further their careers and move to a part of the country they wanted to live eventually anyway. I'm very happy for them! But this meant I had to decide between moving down with them, or staying as close to MK as possible so I could still see any of my friends at all.
So now I'm living with my grandparents until September, when I will be heading to university. They're doing everything they can to make life as easy for me as possible in this time, and I can't thank them enough for that. But everything has happened so fast that my head is still spinning.

So that's why I've been away. And if I'm honest, I probably will continue to be so for the time being. I just don't have the time or energy to juggle a relatively long distance social life (although it could be much worse), prepare for uni and otherwise stay sane and keep posting here at the moment.

That being said, I don't want to lose contact with any of you. You guys are always welcome to grab various bits of contact info from me if you want to chat or anything. And I have a 3DS, for those of you who also have them. I even turn it on now and again. :P

I'll try and stick my head in more than I have, but I've been very distracted. Sorry about that.

2am, and I can't sleep

Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:01 am
by Jent
Whoa... that's more clarification than I expected... Sorry to hear of such strife between once very close people in your life, Borg. I've been in a similar situation, though nowhere near as bad in that particular regard. Mainly myine was due to overreaction and general lack of information from both sides of the matter.

Don't worry, we all are here for you. Have this, not sure if your old enough for the real thing (I'm still not) so enjoy the sweeter variety. *Hands Borg a frothy mug of Rootbeer.*

2am, and I can't sleep

Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:07 am
by Borg12345
I tried rootbeer once. It tasted like toothpaste. :P

Thank you for the kinds words. :) As I say, I've been meaning to do this for a while. It's a lot better to talk about an issue then let it fester and rot inside you.

(Fun fact, I alcohol really doesn't agree with me, and not in the usual way. :P It just makes me feel really ill without doing much else... other than vodka, vodka I can do. It just relaxes me. Yes, I too find this weird. :P

Oh and cider. I don't talk about that one though. :P)

2am, and I can't sleep

Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2014 2:13 am
by Jent
Oh really, I'll drink it then. *Downs the soda drink.*

*Hic.* Yeah, never told the stuff. The closest I've ever cam to it was smelling an open Wine Cooler (odd name, I know). Though, I had an early experience of a 'buzz' when my ex blew vapor in my face without inhaling it to her lungs first... It made me goofy XD

2am, and I can't sleep

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:21 pm
by 3kul
Sorry to be so late in posting here but I just wanted to echo Jent's sentiments. It sounds like you've been through a pretty rough time Borg (to make a massive understatement), but it also sounds like you're managing it all very admirably.

Personally I found university to be an amazing experience, so I hope that you will enjoy your time at university just as much as I did. Make sure that you stay in touch! :)